_________________________________________________________________
                                      
                                 Job Lingo
                                      
     _________________________________________________________________
                                      
From: ekc@atcon.com (Eric Karl Cogswell)
Subject: Job Lingo

Employer Talk

     * "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
       We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to
       your coworkers.
     * "IMMEDIATE OPENING"
       The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago.
       We're just now running the ad.
     * "SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER"
       We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary;
       you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
     * "SELF-MOTIVATED"
       Management won't answer questions.
     * "PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS"
       After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k) and, if you
       behave, we'll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
     * "COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT"
       We have a lot of turnover.
     * "EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT"
       Guys in gray suits will bore you with tales of squash and their
       weekends on yachts.
     * "JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM"
       We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
     * "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
       You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
     * "FLEXIBLE HOURS"
       Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
     * "DUTIES WILL VARY"
       Anyone in the office can boss you around.
     * "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
       We have no quality control. .
     * "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
       You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
     * "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
       You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
     * "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
       You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
       respect.
     * "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
       Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and
       do.
     * "ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD"
       You whine, you're fired.
       
     _________________________________________________________________
                                      
Applicant Speak

     * "I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION &
       ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS"
       I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
     * "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK"
       I blame others for my mistakes.
     * "I AM ADAPTABLE"
       I've changed jobs a lot.
     * "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED"
       The minute I find a better job. I'm outta there.
       
     _________________________________________________________________
                                      
Eric Karl Cogswell
Business Account Representative
CCCS Halifax
201 Chain Lake Drive
(902) 452-0082

     _________________________________________________________________
                                      
    pjf@cts.com